Independent play comes naturally to some kids, but my toddler was not one of those kids. However, it wasn’t a lost cause or impossible and with a few small changes, we were able to get there. Now, she’s able to play anywhere between 15-30 minutes on her own at 2 years old.

Teaching your toddler to play independently has so many benefits for your child, but also for you as the parent. It will help you find pockets of time in the day to rest, work, for your hobbies and your chores.

Today, I am sharing 3 simple things you can do today to encourage more play for your toddler. Let’s get into it!

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1. Number and Quality of Toys Available

The first and easiest thing to start with is reducing the number of toys you’re putting out and how you’re putting them out! According to a research commissioned by the Toy Industry Association (TIA), the average American child receives more than $6,500 worth of toys in their lifetime, which means they probably have more than enough toys. But are they the right ones?

Consider these three things about the toys you have available:

1. Having too many toys available can lead to overstimulation, making it difficult for a toddler to focus or engage deeply with any particular toy.
   
   In fact, research shows that fewer toys at a time leads to better quality playtime for toddlers allowing them to focus on one toy at a time, build concentration skills and even play more creatively. I would recommend having out only 4-6 toys at a time (per kid).
   
2. Having a few GOOD toys instead of several not so good ones can make all the difference. So how can you select “good” toys? Expensive doesn’t always mean they’re good toys. The last page of this guide includes a round up of our favorite toys.
   
   Here are a few things to look for when shopping:
   
   • Toys are meant to be tools, not entertainment centers. Look for toys that encourage creative thinking, teamwork, and imaginative play.
   • Ideally, focus on open ended toys that grow with our kids and can serve them for years to come.
   • Observe your child’s interests and what they find interesting, and when curating their toy selection for that week or month, focus on providing more of those opportunities in the toys you set out.
     
3. ROTATE out toys so they don’t go ‘stale’ and you can switch them out periodically to keep your kids engaged. When you notice that your kid isn’t engaging with toys anymore, instead of running out to buy more, you can simply switch them out with the ones you already have (stored away). Check out THIS post for more information on toy rotations.
   
4. If you have electronic toys, I’d really consider limiting them or better, removing the batteries. Passive toys make for active kids and active toys make passive kids because the more a toy does, the less our children do.

Toys are tools for kids so it’s incredibly important to have the right ones. If you feel that you don’t have the right toys for your kids, check out of my toddler favorites HERE.

2. Talk Less or Not At All

Keeping quiet during your child’s playtime is important because it allows them to focus and concentrate on their activities. Just like we have a hard time resuming a task once interrupted, so do kids! I know it can be enticing to want to swoop in and offer assistance but giving kids space to explore without immediate correction encourages a positive and self-directed learning experience. They learn that they CAN figure stuff out on their own without help!

Kids should only be interrupted while they play if there is a safety concern but other than that, I think we should stay quiet and observe as needed.

Any words of encouragement should and can be held until play is over! Just like we have a hard time getting back to what we are doing once interrupted, kids feel the same way too. So hold on to your encouragements till after they’re done playing!

3. Provide a safe environment and creating a YES space

Create a safe and child-friendly space where your toddler can explore and play independently without being stopped every few minutes because they’re reaching for something unsafe.

This doesn’t mean you need to have a dedicated playroom – just baby proof your living space. In fact, we don’t have one and our toddler’s toy shelf is in our living area which is where we spend the majority of our days as a family so it only makes sense to have them there. To put it simply, if we want play to be what our kids spend most of their time doing then the tools for play need to be available where you spend most of your time. This is especially important for toddlers who do not feel secure to be in another room far away from us.

More questions to ask yourself if your child struggles with playing independently

1. Are they getting too much screen-time? Having too much screen-time available, even in the background while they play, can impact independent play. Most screen activities are so compelling for kids that often they can start to lose the ability to find other things interesting or demand it anytime they’re “bored”. But boredom is necessary for kids! Check out THIS post for simple ways to find a balance.
   
2. Are you too far away from them or trying to be in another room? Sorry to break it to you but most toddlers prefer their caregivers to stay nearby and will follow you if you walk away, which is totally normal. Try to stay nearby but unavailable. Sit and fold the laundry where your child is playing or engage in your own independent activity like reading a book.
   
3. Is independent play part of their daily routine or does it just happen randomly when you need to do something? Making time for play in your daily rhythm is what will allow it to feel comfortable for them and they’ll know what’s expected of them at specific parts of the day leaving you with time to get your adult responsibilities completed.
   
4. Do you have unrealistic expectations? It’s so important to manage your expectations around how long they can be playing independently at their age and how much practice they’ve had to play on their own. You could do all of the above things and still need to keep working on practicing till you see independent play get longer! Don’t be discouraged, keep going.

Next Steps

My hope in sharing everything I’ve learned with you is that you can also start to find small pockets of time in your day where your child is playing independently so you can find time for your adult tasks.

Now it’s time for you to start applying these tips so you can start to notice small changes everyday. And in a few months, you may look back and realize you have a lot more time on your hands. Be sure to follow me along on Instagram @heyazka for daily tips on encouraging play, screen-free parenting, mom life and more!